Artstuck
by Saharasiam
Summary: "Everyone has this… this magnet inside of them. You know, metaphorically. And this f***ing school is like this big-a** annoying magnet that is attracting us all." Human-schoolstuck. Rated for lots of cursing, what did you expect? Better summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **ArtStuck Chapter 1: F***ing Magnets

**Description: **When the Skaia County High School is burned down, the students of said high school are subsequently forced to attend the Andrew Hussie Memorial High School on the other side of the county. Art is immediately shown to be the favorite subject of many of the new and old students of the school. We will be focusing on these odd teens.

**Pairings: **GamTav, Dave/John, Aradia/Equius, Terezi/someone probably, possibly some one-sided FefEridan, Vriska/forever alone, and Karkat/Nepeta/Sollux/whoever-the-f**k-I-want because I can't decide which one I want with Karkat oh sob/despair. I like slashes/. :33 SHIP ALL THE SHIPS.

**POV: **2nd , all the lower-blooded trolls this chapter. Starts with Karkat, because I was going to go in zodiac order but I CAN NOT write for Aradia for some untold reason. It makes me SAAAD. I will just be doing Karkles' twice because he is just SO DANG FUN TO WRITE FOR. I have no clue what order I'm writing the humans in, haha, too lazy to figure out now.

**Disclaimer: **If I did the comic, it would be SOOOOOOOOOO much different. And no one would read it. But nej, this glorious webcomic belongs to Andrew Hussie's amazingly voluptuous lips.

**Note from Author: **Ugh… Karkat… Karkles… why do you curse so much? I never curse, that's why I bleep out stuff that I say, but YOU. Oh well. I will not stop loving you, you angry little bag of Napoleon Complex. U SO CUTE KARKLES URG WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE FOR UGH. I was going to wait to post this, but I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL. IT WAS SO HARD WAITING 'TIL NOW TO POST IT.

**You are KARKAT VANTAS, and you are currently PISSED THE HELL OFF.**

"Everyone has this… this magnet inside of them. You know, metaphorically. And this fucking school is like this big-ass annoying magnet that is attracting us all.

Magnets are full of these atoms, see? And those atoms are either positively or negatively charged. At least that's what that colossal ass sitting next to you said. I think. I wasn't really paying attention.

Anyway, opposites attract while like charges repel. So, while the school has both poles of a magnet like any regular fucking magnet would, we seem to have only have the one nook-sucking pole, so if you are the one charge, you can be attracted to one pole. BUT since we are all either one charge or the other, we tend to repel some people while we attract others.

For some reason, I pretty much ONLY attract the assholes. "

Your head falls to the table and you wrap your arms around it, desperate to keep the annoying droning of everyday chatter of the lesser-minded fools that you are forced to refer to as "classmates". That stoned-as-hell looking fucker that you have the good grace and generosity to call your "best friend" pats you on the back of your head.

"Awww, come on now, motherfucker, we haven't up and seen all these new classmates and shit, we don't know if some are bitchtits motherfuckers." He drawls on in that stupidly slow voice of his, ceasing his annoying head-pats.

You raise your head slightly, eyes just above your arms, to scowl up at the much taller teenager. You rest your chin on your arms to be a bit more at level with the spacey boy's weird purple eyes and give him the most exasperated and irritated frown you can muster up this early in the morning. "… Do you ever think before you speak or do your words just fall out of your fucking mouth like a bunch of drunken fuckers falling out of a New York City cab after a hard day of drinking booze and losing their wallets, turning random civilians' day into shit just by being in their presence? What in the ever-loving fuck did you even mean by that stupid ear-raping assault on those with an actual vocabulary?"

Your "best motherfucking friend" as he calls you blinks for a moment, his lips pursing slightly in what was obvious some pretty intense thought. He shrugs it off, chuckling at you from across the cafeteria table. "Fuck, man, that's was some deep shit right there. Don't really understand it all, but I get that." He leans forward on his lunch table stool even more and placing his head on his palms, his eyes drooping severely. It's a wonder how that boy doesn't have scoliosis or something of the like. You swear he looks like he's fallen asleep with his eyes open, that boy's so lethargic. You roll your eyes, hitting your head against the desk again.

You wake up to rough shaking and an unbearably familiar lispy voice. "KK! Wake up, thtupid! The printhipal'th talking!" You raise your head, fully prepared to sock that heterochromatic asshole right in the mouth, but you notice the principal staring pointedly at you. He is already suspicious of you and you are not ready to get detention this early in the year. That would probably be a record; it was seven thirty-three on _orientation day_. School didn't even fucking start until Monday. You would probably become some fucking role model for the stupid delinquents and troublemakers. Not that you don't enjoy fucking shit up every once in a while, but you hate those stupid fuckers more than you enjoy raising cane.

The pompous bastard steps up on the big stage placed inexplicably in the corner of the cafeteria, megaphone in hand. He turned it on in a screech of head-splitting static, causing the lispy fucker sitting to the left of the high-as-fuck-looking teenager to cover his ears and hiss. It's like that kid always has headache or something, and you're positive that that particular cacophony did nothing to help. Anyway, the principal raises the megaphone; he really doesn't need it, though, he's practically screaming. He starts droning on about how "wonderful" this new school year will be and how you as juniors have to prove as positive role models for the desperate underlings. Why do the juniors have to be talked to first? It would make much more sense to talk to the seniors, _then_ juniors, then the sophomores. But no, the JUNIORS had to be out in the cafeteria in the wee hours of the morning. You growl, you had been waiting for this idiot to talk for a fucking HOUR! And for this stupid lecture you got the same time (a bit later in the day, mind you) LAST YEAR? RIDICULOUS! Angry clouds of red pool behind your eyes as you seethe at your misfortune, while your stoner-looking friend, Gamzee, looks just as content as a clam to be there at such an early hour. Wait… "content as a clam"? The fuck does that even mean?

After about an hour of the idiot's babbling about the Code of Conduct (that you've added to your list of "I Don't Give a Fuck About This Shit"), just as he arrives on the section about the treatment of fellow students, he motions to three tables to the right of him. There's a potpourri of various juniors that you had never seen before, all presumably the new forced inhabitants of this gog-forsaken high school. The pompous idiot grabs the inside of his suit-jacket like he personally just did something fucking amazing and everyone should praise him, letting all these poor saps join in on the abundance of fucking merrymaking at Andrew Hussie Memorial High (as to who this Andrew Hussie guy is, you have no fucking clue). You growl to yourself as the man's yelling begins to give you a headache, taking the same pained stance as your bee-loving friend/acquaintance/enemy/you-really-have-no-fucking-idea in an effort to relieve the complete and utter pain emanating from your temples.

"Students! These will be our other new arrivals to our wonderful school! What with the Skaia County High School facility's recent fire, we have graciously invited their fine students to coincide with us!" He stands back, as if he did such a wonderful favor to these kids. _Run now, fuckasses. _

All of the kids (minus you, Gamzee, Sollux, and a few others) let out begrudging and delayed applause, sounding like no one even half-assed this forced happiness. More like quarter-assed; NAY, one twenty-sixth-assed, if possible. You turn to Gamzee to make this opinion known, but you find he is staring at something.

Not really something, though.

Rather, it's some_one._

**Karkat: Be the timid and fairly freaked out paraplegic.**

You are now one freaked out little Spaniard. Not only did your school recently **BURN DOWN**, meaning that since it did end up burning down it could have actually burned down WHILE you were in it (oh gog, it really could have and what if while it did you were in an upstairs class and since you can not use the elevators in the event of a fire- no, stop that, you'll just make yourself even more scared.), but now you are stuck in a new school with even more people (meaning even more possible assailants) and you don't really know anyone other than the few juniors that came with you from your abnormally small high school. Wow, you just noticed how much rambling you do in your head. Seems like you are very reluctant about this school change.

Not that you particularly enjoyed your previous school.

At all.

That is to say, you didn't dislike it for the learning aspects, but you disliked it in every other department.

You shift awkwardly in your wheelchair, staring down helplessly at your useless lower appendages. You feel simply horrible about yourself. You were put in this situation through no fault of your own (the only way that could be true is if you blamed past self of your terrible choice in friendship), yet you continually put yourself down for being like this. Oh well, such is the mind of Tavros Nitram.

Self-confidence level of negative five and all.

You look up at the principal of your (reluctantly) new school as you notice him move out of the corner of your eye. Oh gog, now he's gesturing in your direction.

_Right. At. You._

You know that he's not really gesturing at JUST you, but the way he's pointing, it really looks like he is. You feel dozens of eyes on you and you push yourself further into your wheelchair. A few hush whispers reach your ears, those mostly consisting of "What happened to that kid?" and you hunch down even more, giving the allusion of being rather short (although you are really of average height.) You notice that the principal has finished talking and everyone claps rather tiredly. You do not.

You are too distracted by the strange boy in clown makeup staring right at you.

You are pretty used to stares by now, but those are usually of sympathy or sometimes fear. This boy just looks… interested. Like he's seen you before or something. The weird thing is, it feels like you know this boy back. Why is that?

His rather irritated looking friend glances at him curiously (you think, anyway. He just looks a bit more irritated) before looking over the clown's shoulder at you. The boy talks to the clown for a moment and, seeing that the taller boy isn't even listening, bares his teeth and looks back at the principal.

Well, this is getting awkward.

**Tavros: Be the lispy fucker.**

This has to be the most boring thing you could possibly be doing at any moment ever.

Seriously, you would rather be teaching that weird Egbert kid how to program than this. (really, why does he even try?)

KK looks just as bored as you are (although quite a bit more angry at the moment) while GZ is staring intently at someone. You really don't care who. You are itching to get out your phone or notebook and jot down some programming ideas, but you know that the principal would call you out for not paying attention (even though by now you can pretty much recite the whole song-and-dance of orientation. Seriously, you guys are juniors, why would you even need orientation?) You are sure of it. That jerk has made it apparent that he doesn't really like and/or approve of your little group (if you can call it that) on numerous occasions. You don't know why, although the three of you have never really given him a reason to actually _like_ your group. Whatever.

Wow, you sound really… what was that stupid anime term? _Tsundere? _You don't even pretend to care. You deem that term stupid. Anime is stupid. Everything is stupid. Except for you, of course. You are a genius. Except when you're stupid. Like that time when you tried to ask AA out for the first time. _THAT _was stupid. You erase that memory from your mind.

What memory?

"What memory" indeed.

You glance over at GZ; the clown-boy is still staring at a kid in a wheelchair with an intense thinking face. The paraplegic is staring back, and he looks really confused and scared. You chuckle; that poor kid. It WOULD be rather unsettling if you had just been forced into a new school and had to endure a weird clown-boy with crazy hair staring at you.

You sigh, leaning your head on your palm. This guy could really B-S his way through two hours. _TWO HOURS._ That's how long you have been sitting on that gog-forsaken lunch stool. KK, who was already quite tired apparently, had fallen asleep again. You get bored and for some reason you decide to put your 3-D color glasses on him. Oh well, at least now the principal won't get on his (and subsequently, your) case about not paying attention, as his closed eyes were being hidden by the glasses. You're going to be cursed at by the angry half-German, but at it will be worth it to not get in trouble so early on. Plus, you notice KK looks adorable in the glasses, especially paired with his somewhat innocent looking sleep face. How can someone so rage-filled look so sweet?

You shake your head. That's preposterous, no one would describe KK as sweet-looking. One just DOES NOT do that. If anything, he can be described as less angry than normal.

…

Jegus you are bored.

Maybe you should look for AA? You could look at her.

In a totally non-stalkerish way, of course.

No, just a friendly way.

You have to see how friends are doing, right?

Because that's what friends do.

They look out for each other.

Yeah.

That's a totally valid excuse.

You finally find that familiar head of wavy, very _messy_ dark red hair after blindly searching. (Seriously, why did you even put your glasses on KK? You really need those things.) Man, she is so pretty. In a really creepy, rather _doom-y _way. But still pretty. Currently, she is looking at her phone (at least you think she is, you can't see very far without your glasses), without a doubt texting rapidly in that calculating, emotionless manner. You notice how she's gotten a bit more emotional over the past year, but now she seems as patient and resigned as ever, if not more patient. You start to remember that time you first asked you out and she dashed your hopes before you remember that you had banished that memory from your mind.

…

Forget that, you're feeling angsty now, you have to think about it.

Could it be because you wrecked her house? She never said she blamed you, but what if she really did? She wasn't very good at showing emotions, so what if she hated you now? It wasn't your fault, it was that bitch VS… Somehow. You just know that she's somehow the cause of it. But, you can't remember why you think so, because you have now officially locked that memory from your mind. At least until you're feeling angsty again.

You sigh again. Wow, you sure do sigh a lot, huh? Anyway, you look back at the wheelchair kid, who is still looking back at GZ but is now alternating between him and his phone. Jegus, is the principal still talking?

You look sideways at him; yep. Still talking. You groan, glancing back at KK. Your glasses are askew on his face as his head had fallen sideways from his palm onto his arm. You smirk (not in an unfriendly way, though) and fix them on his face.

Welp. Now you can't see and you're positive that the principal has already noticed KK's snoozing. You go to take your glasses back, but you can't bring yourself to take them from the sleeping boy.

Odd.

…

JEGUS THAT IDIOT PRINCIPAL IS NOT HELPING YOUR HEADACHE.

**Sollux: be the sleeping boy again.**

You wake up and the world is in 3-D.

Well, more than it normally is.

That is to say, 3-D colors.

You growl, taking the blue and red glasses off of your face. You go to throw them back at the lispy fucker, but you find that he's asleep.

Once again, it is far too early in the morning for this shit.

Anyway, you lower your hand. You can't throw things at someone who's asleep after he had the good grace to not wake you up; that just wouldn't be satisfactory. He still deserves to get things thrown at him, so you decide to wait until he wakes up to throw it at him.

Or not.

Because when he wakes up if you have his glasses he will be without glasses. Which means you will see his eyes. And those just freak you right the fuck out.

You quickly put the glasses back on the boy.

There, now you won't be freaked out. Besides, you can find something else to throw at him.

You look up at Gamzee, mildly irritated that this stupid orientation was not over with yet. Your irritation grows when you see that that fucker was still busy creeping out some random sap who was forced to attend this shit-bag of a school. "Gamzee. Stop being a creepy nook-sucker and stop staring at that pathetic fucker."

Gamzee turned around, finally leaving the poor asshole alone. "Sorry Karbro, just up an' thought that rad-lookin' motherfucker seemed all kinds of familiar."

You growl, too groggy to argue with that bulge-muncher. "Well, stop it, you look creepy as hell." You rest your chin on your arms, looking up at the principal. He has just finished reciting the Code of Conduct word for word in excruciating detail. Now, he's moved onto schedules.

After another half-hour of explaining the scheduling for the new students and for those who somehow forgot over the summer, he starts to hand out schedules in alphabetical order.

You're going to have to wait a while.

…

Dammit, you hate waiting.

You watch, completely uninterested, as your fellow classmates go up to retrieve their schedules. One name you know that is quick to show up is Eridan Ampora's. Oh gog, you hope the gigantic rich douche bag's schedule is nowhere near yours.

He prattles off names; making it up to the C's. He nears one certain name. Namely, Sollux Captor.

That ass hat is still asleep.

You're just about to rudely shove him from his seat in time for him to get his schedule before you realize that he seems like his headache has really been taking a toll on him. Even in his sleep, he is grimacing.

In a sudden act of unexpected kindness, you go and accept the lispy fucker's schedule for him.

He better be glad you just want to get this over with quickly.

**Karkat: be the girl.**

You're going to have to be more specific, ass-licker. There are more than 100 girls in this fucking cafeteria.

**Karkat: be the energetic relationship-and-cat fanatic.**

You are now one excited kitty-girl.

You are in a brand new school. This not only means there is a chance at new friendships (or, as you would most likely say, furiendships) but this also means that you can most certainly add new relationships to your rapidly growing shipping wall! (which is technically just a chart, but it will be a wall whenever you convince your father to let you paint on your walls.) Your friends will be joining you at your new school, which is even better. You smile up at your BSFE (best sweaty friend ever), who replies with what you think is supposed to be a smile but it doesn't come off as very pleasant. He doesn't seem to be as excited as you are about the move.

You turn your head forward, rubbing the slight crick in your neck. You really had to strain to be able to look at your friend's face, as he is much taller than you. You laugh, thinking about how everyone almost automatically assumes that he is much older than you due to the drastic height differences, when really you are close to five months older than him.

You turn to look at one of your best- what the heck, furiends, Tavros Nitram, sitting at the end of the table for better wheelchair access. He seems to be intensely freaked out, and by the looks of it, he has been for a while. He is alternating between looking down at his phone and the back of a rather unruly head of coal-black hair. You frown, leaning forward to get a closer look at the head. This head of hair isn't particularly familiar, but it seems like you've seen it befur- ahem, before. Like you've seen it coming to and from your neighbor's house. That neighbor being Karkat Van-… tas…

You look over the tall shoulder of the crazy-haired boy and find none other than Karkat Vantas (or as he told you when you first met at age thirteen, "Karkat Fucking Vantas". His curses just make you laugh, but your horse-obsessed friend just frowns at it. When you imitate his vocabulary, the taller boy scolds you and says he doesn't approve of "all the cavorting with the children of the lower flanks- er, ranks- of the public hierarchy" that you do.)

…

What?

He can't afford to go to a private school, can he?

Your school mates (a limited number of them, anyway) got in for free due to the fire (otherwise you are sure that you, Tavros, and several others would not be able to afford the tuition), but he did not go to your school, he went here in the first place. You definitely had to pounce-attack him later and get him to tell you why.

In the meantime, you can just fan-girl about how you will be going to the same school as your long-time crush.

You vaguely remember Karkitty saying that he went to some school or another, but you had no idea that it was THIS school! Oh, just imagine all the fun things you could do with your Karkitty now that you attended the same school! Oh, you DEFINITELY had to make sure that he had an art period with you.

You just notice how time has flown by; this slow-speaking principal guy must have picked up the pace. Your friends John Egbert, Jade Harley, and Rose Lalonde have already gotten their schedules and your name was fast approaching. You make a mental note to pester them later about what classes they have.

"Nepeta Le-… Leh-… Lay-John?"

You sigh; this type of reaction to your last name was not uncommon. You plaster another smile on your face, one of the cat-like ones you are quite sure only you can do without surgery, and stand to retrieve your schedule. Once you reach the stage and get it, you whisper to the principal, "It's pronounced 'Lay-on'." He just shrugs and hurries you off in time to announce the other names. Oh, you will NOT like this guy, and that is- ahem, purrfectly clear.

You traipse over to Karkitty's table, getting a slightly annoyed glace from Equius that you reply to simply with a stuck out tongue. You place yourself in the seat right beside your Karkitty, making sure you are not seen beforehand, and you are barely able to contain your elated purr. "KARKITTY!"

The Karkitty in question visibly tensed up as soon as the words left your somehow feline mouth. He began to turn towards you ever-so-slowly. As his line of sight hit your face, his shoulders slumped and his face fell drastically. He let out an exasperated sigh. "… Nepeta. Who let you into this hell-hole?"

"Silly Karkitty, I used to go to the county school befur it burned down! I thought you knew that!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT FUCKING NICKNAME!"

"Okay, I purromise!" You giggle; you had crossed your fingers behind your back.

He rubs his temples. "Ugh, I didn't even know you were in the group that was sentenced to incarceration here."

"Haha, but Karkles, the principal JUST said my name!"

"I said don't call me that stupid fucking nickname!"

"Nooo, you said not to call you Karkitty!" You purr in laughter as he begins to hit his head repeatedly on the table. Questioning his admittance here would have to come later; you were having way too much fun.

Loud, honk-like laughs and quiet snorts joined in with your purring. You turn to investigate.

"Oh, hello Sollux!" You had met him one time during a role-playing escapade and have kept in contact ever since. It was exciting to know that you already have two fur-sure friends in the new school. He waved back, struggling to contain his snorts.

The other laugher turned out to be a rather intimidating and freaky-looking clown-boy. Your eyes widen; this is the one that Tavros kept on looking at. His face looked even more familiar up close and in his face. He must have noticed the slight change in mood, because he quickly put on a lax smile.

"Hey, sister. Fucking legit headgear you got there." He was obviously referring to your blue cat hat, the one that inexplicably had horn-like appendages instead of ears. You smile; this guy doesn't seem all that intimidating now that his smile isn't distorting the clown-makeup smile like it had when he was laughing.

"Thanks! I'm afuraid that I will have to take it off when school starts, though."

He shrugs, sticking out a long-fingered hand. "Gamzee Makara, motherfucker."

You eagerly accept his hand, shaking it vigorously. "Nepeta Leijon, in the fur!" You let another feline smile slip onto your face as he laughs again; it wasn't as scary when you expected it. Wow, his laugh REALLY sounded like honking. "Oh, but I really have to go, Equius is waiting fur me!" You see a hint of recognition flash over his drooping eyes at the mention of your best furiend, before his face settled back into that same wide grin.

"See ya later, cat-sister."

You hop up, heading back towards Equius. First, though, you take one last glance back. Karkitty is still banging his head on the table (you think he is so cute X33!) , Sollux is laughing harder, and Gamzee is heading off to get his schedule with a relaxed smile. You think the two of you will be great furiends. As you head off towards your and Equius' table, you surmise that you really MUST include Gamzee in your shipping wall. Who should you pair with him, though? Hmm…

**Nepeta: Be the chainsaw loving fashionista.**

You are now the black-and-green-clad fashionista.

You are busy sketching up outfit ideas when you hear, "Kanaya Maryam." On your way to retrieve your schedule, you pass a certain Mr. Gamzee Makara. He gives you a friendly smile and a "Hey, fashion-sister," in greeting. You reciprocate with a pleasant nod. You are not quite sure if you can trust that boy as of now, as he had a tendency to become quite violent at times in the past. Though, now you know from quite the reliable source, that he has been sedated for several months now, and has been deemed reasonably safe. As you head back to your seat beside Vriska Serket, who was most likely tearing through your sketchpad in a barbaric manner, you sashay by Karkat Vantas, one of your better friends. He is currently banging his head repeatedly against the lunch table he is sitting at.

…

Now that simply can not be good for his health.

**Author: Abruptly end chapter because you have no clue how to write for KANAYA.**

**You know it's time to end the chapter when it's over 4700 words and my brain is about to dribble out of my ears. Also as I am writing this it is currently two in the morning.**

**I am not very happy with Tavbro's section. I will have to change that feeling next time I write for him.**

**GAMZEE. G-… G-GAMZEE BRO. Y U SO FAMILIAR? T^T**

**HOW DO I FANCY-KANAYA TYPE? HOW DO GUIS? HOW DOOOOO?**

**TC: 'CaUsE aIn'T nObOdY gOiNg To Up AnD fOrGeT tHiS fAcE aNyTiMe SoOn, BrO. :o) HoNk!**

…**So yeah. Reviews, what did you think, la-di-da. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I seriously had so much fun typing for Karkat. Aradia will probably be invading the higher-blood troll chapter (the next one; it will also be continuing the orientation arch so we can just get the horrendous thing over with.), so watch out. QUAKE WITH FEAAARRRR…**

**Ta-ta for now,**

**-Saharasiam**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Artstuck Chapter 2: uH,,, wHAT

**POV: **2nd, the higher up trolls this time, but with Aradia

**Author's note: **Here it is, chapter two. My patron troll is fun to write for (Terezi) and I really like writing for Nepeta, but when I have to write them together I pull a blank! GUH TROLLS Y U SO MUCH FUN. Y U SO CURSY. WHY. W.H.Y. YYYYYYYYYYYYYY- HOLY COW I ACTUALLY ENJOYED WRITING FOR ARADIA AND I THINK I DID IT WELL FOR ONCE. Y'know, I just noticed, I answered the long sought-after answer to the legendary question, "F***ing magnets, how do they work?" in the previous chapter. THAT'S HOW THEY WORK, BIATCHES.

I probably majorly screwed up a bunch of the writing quirks. I am sorry for this eye-sore. *weeps in the corner out of shame*

Thanks Lunar for my first review!~ I was hoping I portrayed them well, because I read a butt-load of the Homestuck Wiki to make sure, y'know, just in case the comics weren't enough for me. SO MUCH WIKI. SO MUCH IT HURT. Thanks again dahling!~

**You are now ARADIA MEGIDO and you are slightly EXCITED.**

As excited as you as Aradia can be.

You are currently texting rapidly with your best online friend, AdiosToreador. Or, in the world of the living where real names are most often spoken, Tavros Nitram. He was recently forced to attend your private school. He was at first surprised that you attended said school, as your family is in fact worse off than his financially. You distinctly remember telling him this fact once you started the school, and of how you got in tuition-free due to your intelligence (it also helped that the school had hired your father as an exterminator and offered you the scholarship in the contract.) He simply must have forgotten, however unlikely that may sound to you.

You pause in your texting adventures in time to hear "Aradia Megido" called over the principal's megaphone.

**AA: **tavr0s

**AA: **wait 0ne m0ment please

**AT: **aLRIGHT, aRADIA, }:)

You rise from your chair, glancing over at your friend in the section of the cafeteria that was apparently designated to the newest arrivals to the junior class. He is quite easy to spot, seeing as he was the only one in the entire junior class who was wheelchair-bound.

As you make your way forward to retrieve your schedule, you remark on how flustered the boy looked, but it seemed like he was recently calming down from his state. You would have to remember to inquire about his state of shock at another time.

You return to your seat and pull your schedule from the package. You hear a "Ding!" from your skirt pocket (the pocket with the least holes in it) and you acquire your cell-phone. Tavros had messaged you again.

**AT: **aNY CLASSES THAT YOU THINK WILL BE, fUN?

**AA: **it seems i will be having an art class

**AT:** wHICH PERIOD?

**AA: **seventh i believe

**AT: **tHAT SOUNDS PRETTY COOL! }:)

**AA: **yes i believe that it will be quite enj0-

Before you can finish your reply, your phone bleeps again, signaling a new text. You end your sentence, managing to type out "enj0yable", before checking your new message. It is from one of your other close friends forced into your private school, Terezi Pyrope.

**GC: **H3LLO 44! H3H3H3

**AA: **hell0 terezi

**CG: **1 MUST 1NQU1R3, WH4T 4R3 TH3 SCHOOLS M4SCOT 4ND COLORS 4G41N? 1 S33M TO H4V3 FORGOT3N

**AA: **we are the k0m0d0 drag0ns and 0ur c0l0rs are red and green

**CG: **3XC3L3NT! 1 4DOR3 DR4GONS 4ND THOS3 COLORS 4R3 D3L1C1OUS TOG3TH3R, H3H3H3! 1 4M SUR3 1 W1LL 3NJOY 1T H3R3

You smile back at the little emoticon she added in a new message, one with the greater-than sign and sharply angled bracket-smile. You are rather close to Terezi, now. You used to be the best of friends, but you two slightly drifted apart after a small accident involving your house and the ultimate demise of your aunt whom you lived with at the time. After intense hours of the roleplaying that girl enjoys so much and two hours of FLARPing, the two of you eventually reconciled (though neither of you figured out why you had grown distant.)

You begin texting intensely with both Tavros and Terezi, pausing only once with Tavros so he could wheel himself up to retrieve his own schedule.

**AA: **tavr0s

**AA:** what h0mer00m are y0u in

**AT: **uHH, i GOT mR, bROWN,

**AA: **0h

**AA: **that is t00 bad

**AA:** i g0t mrs d0l0r0sa maryam

**AT: **}:(

**AT: **tHAT'S OKAY, tHOUGH,,, wE'LL BE ABLE TO SEE EACH OTHER,

**AT: **wHAT IS YOUR ART TEACHER'S NAME?

**AA: **mr t0bias

**AT: **tHAT'S MINE TOO! }:)

**AT: **sAME PERIOD, aS WELL!

**AA: **that is very g00d

**AA: **i l00k f0rward t0 having art with y0u

**AT: **hAHA,,, uHH, aNY TIPS FOR ME, bEFORE i OFFICIALLY ATTEND SCHOOL HERE, }:?

**AA: **the 0nly 0ne that immediately c0mes t0 mind is t0 stay away fr0m vriska

**AA: **d0 that and stick with me and y0u sh0uld be fine

**AT: **oH! uHH, vRISKA GOES HERE? }:O

**AA: **yes tavr0s

**AA: **i th0ught i t0ld y0u that

**AT: **yOU, uH, mIGHT HAVE,,,

**AT: **iT MUST HAVE SLIPPED MY MIND,,,

**AA: **tavr0s

**AA: **y0u are being very f0rgetful t0day

**AA: **is everything alright 0_0

**AT: **oH, eVERYTHING IS,,, uM, aLRIGHT

**AT: **jUST,,, a BIT, fLUSTERED,

**AA: **0kay 0_0

**AT: **aRADIA, dO YOU,,,

**AT: **,,, uH,,,,

**AA:** yes tavr0s 0_0

**AT: **,,, nEVERMIND,,,

**AA: **tavr0s what is it

**AT: **,,,

**AT: **iT'S, uHH, aLRIGHT,,, iT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER,,,

**AT: **lISTEN, aRADIA,,, i, uH, gOTTA GO

**AA:** g00dbye tavr0s 0_0

**AT: **uH, bYE, aRADIA,,,

**adiosToreador **has ceased trolling **apocalypseArisen [AA]**

You look up at your friend from across the room, your sight momentarily impaired by Feferi Peixes as she makes her way to the stage, and you can tell right away that he is, in fact, flustered. He looks shaken to the core, and you aren't really sure why. He looks like he's trying to bury himself into his wheelchair, blushing madly and looking at everything almost at once, as if he couldn't focus on one thing, but his eyes kept on going back to one teenager. You frown, texting Terezi again. Something is most definitely up.

**Aradia: be the sociopathic blind girl**

Ah, what a mix of colors. Purples, greens, blues, and most importantly; _reds._ You love school gatherings, such a bouquet of sensory stimuli. You stick your tongue out, testing the air for more delicious colors. You catch a faint air of delicious red cherries and vinyl; the _cool-kid _must be nearby. To the right of you is green-apple and Massive Tropical Brain Hemorrhage-flavored Fruit Gushers, also known as the John-child. You lean towards the boy to be able to taste an unknown flavor on him (and maybe a bit to get a better taste of red, as it is coming from that general direction) and he pushes your face away. "Geez, Terezi, get away! I prefer my face to _NOT _be covered in Terezi-slobber, thank you!" You hear the lime and grass-flavored Jade laugh and you giggle along, baring your sharp fangs. You are about to retaliate when you hear another message alert from your pants pocket. You put on the headphones plugged into your phone as it reads off the message (you are careful to keep those around, after you were kicked out of a nice bakery due to "excessive vulgarity" after it read off a curse-ridden text from Karkat at an abnormally large volume.)

**AA: **terezi i am w0rried ab0ut tavr0s

**AA: **he is acting strangely

**AA: **is everything alright with him

**GC: **4S F4R 4S 1 KNOW, 3V3RYTH1NG 1S F1N3

**AA: **he t0ld me he felt flustered

**AA: **and n0w he is acting very strange

**GC: **TH3 M4GN1F1C3NT GC W1LL 1NV3ST1G4T3!

**gallowsCalibrator [GC] **has ceased trolling **apocalypseArisen [AA]**

You end the sentence with a determined smile-emoticon, seeking out the greater-than sign on your Braille-keypad, before exiting out of your chat with the red skittles and cherry coke Aradia. You slip your tongue out again, testing the air for a familiar mocha and chocolate mix of colors.

You find it soon enough, near a salad and blue-raspberry-kool-aid taste. He is approximately a table away, most likely at the wheelchair-accessible end, and somewhat close to your green and blue friend, Nepeta Leijon.

**gallowsCalibrator [GC]** has begun trolling **arsenicCatnip [AC]**

**GC: ***GC R4PS 4N 3L3G4NT T4LON 4G41NST H3R SC4L3D SNOUT CUR1OUSLY 4ND GR33TS H3R FURRY FR13ND*

**AC: **:33 *ac purrs in gr33ting, happily pouncing onto her best scaled furiend.*

**GC: ***GC SM1L3S W1D3LY, B4RING H3R 1NT1M1D4T1NG F4NGS, 4ND SP34KS "H3LLO! H3H3H3, M4Y 1 4SK SOM3TH1NG OF YOU?"*

**AC: **:33 *ac nods, purromising to answer any question her furiend may ask*

**GC: ***GC SM1L3S ONC3 4G41N "4R3 YOU 4W4R3 OF TH3 CURR3NT ST4T3 OF OUR FR13ND T4VROS? 4R4D14 H4S 1NQU1R3D 4BOUT H1S W3LLB31NG."*

**AC: **:33 *ac would like to inquire why her scaly furiend does not ask her animal loving furiend herself as she is also a close furiend of his*

**GC: **W3LL, H3 1S R4TH3R CLOS3 TO 4R4D14 4ND H3 WOULD NOT T3LL H3R WH4T W4S WRONG, 4ND 1 B3L13V3 H3 TRUSTS YOU MOR3 TH4N M3

**GC: **OOPS, *GC S4YS TH4T*

**AC: **:33 *ac smiles, happily accepting her role as one of the Taurus' close furiends and her scaly furiends proposition*

**AC: **:33 * "Of course, I will happily ask Tavros what is wrong!" she says*

**GC: ***GC T1PS H3R M4G3ST1C 4ND 1NT1M1D4T1NG SNOUT 1N TH4NKS TO H3R FURR3D FR13ND 4ND FL13S OFF 3L3G4NTLY 4ND F3ROC1OUSLY TO H3R R3S1D3NC3 UNT1L H3R N3XT V1S1T W1TH TH3 3NT3RT41N1NG 4ND SK1LL3D FURR3D B34ST*

**AC: **:33 * ac bows her head at her scaled furiend, thankful for her complements, and bounds off to speak with her bull-furiend whenever pawsible!*

**gallowsCalibrator [GC] **has ceased trolling **arsenicCatnip [AC]**

You smile again, slipping your tongue back into your mouth and removing the headphones; Nepeta will be sure to sort out the mocha-chocolate Tavros. You turn back to John, Jade, cool-kid, and the strawberry milk and floral Rose; they seemed to be having a conversation about their classes. Just as you begin to think about what your own classes will be, you hear "Terezi Pyrope!" called loudly over that loud principal's megaphone.

You stand, dragon-tipped cane in hand, and make your way towards the stage. You manage to whack a few poor souls on your way there, although you know you really don't need to. You could find your way around just fine without all the blind bravado; you just enjoy hitting people. You reach the stage and inhale deeply through your nose as you take your schedule from the principal. He smelled of stark-pressed suits, overbearing cologne, and stagnant water. Not the best mix, but certainly not as bad as a few of the scents you happened across on your way there.

You hit five more heads with your cane on the way back.

Before you sit down, however, you walk towards _cool-kid _and, before he can ask you what you want, you lick his face. For a moment, his cool-kid demeanor breaks down and he momentarily flips the fuck out. As John and Jade laugh hysterically, Dave half yells "FUCKING BLIND GIRL!" You hit him with your cane before sitting back down on the other side of John.

9/134 heads walloped with a cane. 125 heads out of 134 shown mercy.

**Terezi: be the spider bitch**

Okay, you're the boss.

You are now the huge bitch.

You huff, leaning your head on your non-mechanical right arm. You have been forced by Kanaya to keep at least a foot away from her sketchpad at all times after you tore through it barbarically while she was away getting her schedule. But really, it was all her fault. What did she think you would do if left alone with it? If she REALLY didn't want you to tear through it she wouldn't have left it there, now was she? You would have made yourself clear about this fact, but she looked rather enamored with her work at the moment, so you decided not to disturb her.

Now, as a huge bitch (and well aware of it) you normally wouldn't care about interrupting her, but if you tried, you know fully well that she would be much too entranced to even pay attention for long enough for you to get a prodding word in.

Plus, an angry Kanaya is quite a force to be reckoned with.

You remember the time she kicked that Makara kid in the crotch when he was on one of his crazy rampages and stifle a laugh.

You hear that asshole with the megaphone call out "Vriska Serket" and you head off to get your schedule, stealing a quick glance at whatever Kanaya is drawing. Per usual, she is drawing some sort of fashion device. How BOOOOOOOORING. You look to the fresh meat in the corner of the cafeteria and a certain boy catches your eye. You smile evilly. "Pupa Pan, hmm? Oh, this will be fuuuuuuuun."

**Vriska: be the sweaty guy**

Sweaty guy? You mean the STRONG guy!

…

Who just-so-happens to be the sweaty guy as well.

You are watching Nepeta annoy the low-rank child in the wheelchair. You have advised the girl time and time again against interacting with those of lower power than her, as she can do much better even though she is technically classified as one of the lower-ranks, but she has not listened once and will most likely never listen. She will one day be on her deathbed, surrounded by the tainted lower-half of the spectrum, and she will realize that she really should have listened to you and that she was much better than having to stoop down to _their _level.

Actually, you really don't want to think such depressing thoughts.

Instead of that, you could think about your centaur and horse posters locked in a secret area of your closet, away from prying eyes…

Oh yes you could think about those posters.

You could think about those posters ALL DAY LONG…

Dat flank.

You return your attention to Nepeta and the shy low-rank, forehead sufficiently sweaty.

She certainly is making the boy flustered.

"TAAAAAAVVVRRROOOOSSSS, TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!"

"N-Nepeta! Nothing is, uh, wrong. What… what gave you the idea that anything was, um, w-wrong?" He scooted away from the cat-girl as much as he could in his wheelchair, desperate for space.

"Nepeta…I believe it would be wise to… back away from the low-rank boy… as he is currently requesting space.

Nepeta frowns at you, a sight you do not enjoy seeing but must endure at a regular basis to keep her in order, and leans towards the boy as if she was going to hug him. "This 'low-rank' has a name, Equius! You know that! His name is Tavros!"

Of course you know that, you just have next to no reason to care.

Nepeta growls at you for a moment before smiling back at Tavros. "Oh, don't worry about Mr. Grumpy-Pus. He really does mean well, even if he does it in the most purrfectly rude way pawsible."

The Strider-child takes that moment to walk by to retrieve his itinerary. He looks at you, Nepeta, and the wheelchair child and nods in his cool way. Nepeta's eyes narrow dangerously and the low-rank retracts into his chair

You really aren't sure how to respond.

You start to think about horses.

Mm, that is a nice distraction.

Where are the towels when you need them?

**Equius: be the high-bl00d**

…What?

**Oops, sorry, Equius: be the clown-boy**

That's better.

**Author: cut this chapter even more abruptly than the last one because you are going somewhere tomorrow and have no other way to finish it in time.**

**Whatever you say, command thingy. **

**So, my team is going to the nationals competition tomorrow AT FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING and I wanted to get this done before the week was out. I know I should be sleeping, but I can sleep on the DECIDEDLY-NOT-A-CHARTER-BUS-EVEN-THOUGH-THIS-TRIP-IS-FRIGGING-LONG bus. Sorry about how it's shorter than the last, but hey, I'm not a miracle worker, nor do I plan on having every chapter the same length, plzkthanx. Gamz, Eri, and Fef will all be in the next chapter with the kids. This should help in making it a longer chapter than I figured it would be with the kids ONLY, so that actually works out pretty well.**

**I love Aradia-writing now. Geez, Sahara, when did your opinions do a 180 degree flip? You so crazy.**

**Tereziiiiiiiiiiiiiii ILY.**

**I hate Vriska, I really do. I have a high intolerance for b***hes. But it was so much fun writing for her. I must be a b***h on the inside. I hate myself for this. Either that or I subconsciously tried to tone down the b***hiness. **

**Ask me if I had fun writing Equius' part. **

**You: Uh… did… did you-**

**YES I HAD FUN WRITING EQUIUS' PART! 0u0**

**Ta-ta for now,**

**-Saharasiam**


	3. Chapter 3

**SOBER GIRLS AROUND ME THEY BE AC'IN' LIKE THEY DRUNK.**

**I HATE THAT SONG BUT IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD.**

**I CANNOT ESCAPE.**

**Title: **Artstuck chapter 3: FUCK THIS SHIT

**POV: **Gamz, Eri, Fef, John, then Rose. Dave, Jade, and the alpha kids will most likely be in the next chapter. I am debating whether or not to write for the alphas. SECOND PERSON GLUBGLUBGLUB

**AN: **

SO ONE OF MY FAVORITE FANFICTIONS WAS DELETED AND I HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE IT.

OH GOG I'M GOING TO DIE.

The nationals competition is over, we got second in the D.C. competition. We did pretty mother-glubbin' awesome, if I do say so myself. And I DO say so myself. So there. Sorry for the delay, but I get real exhausted whenever I travel, and MAN have I traveled a lot the past few weeks. Also, I had academic camp AND competition, and I couldn't have my laptop near me… T^T You never realize how annoying auto-correct can be until you write a Homestuck story. Gog I love writing for Karkitty, even if I'm writing for him in someone else's section. I love to make him rant. I love how the paragraphs actually have substance in this one, unlike last chapter where chatting kinda messed it up. In slightly unrelated news, I have been listening to "A Fanfiction By Eridan Ampora" on Youtube. **AND THEN FEF STARTED GLUBBIN' AND STUFF-**

Just so you know, Rose's Mom WILL BE Roxy, (kinda) with Rose's Mom's interest in John's Dad. Even though I have no clue how to work out the kid situation in a way that will make sense, she will be Roxy. Yeah. Drunck misspellings and everything.

*drukn

*fuck it

*drunk

**Acknowledgements: **Thanks for everyone that commented, I really wish I could personally reply to the anonymous reviews! I LOVE YOU ALL! *insert heart emoticon*

**Gamzee: Pick up where we last left off.**

Alright sweet command-bro.

You are now a confused clown-boy.

Very confused indeed.

You are very aware that you may have creeped the ever-loving shit out of that sweet motherfucker over there, but social conventions tend to slip your mind, and, per usual, that previous moment was no exception.

You have just gotten done staring at this wicked bro that seems to have just arrived in your schooling system, after making him stare warily back and making your best motherfucking friend call you out on your actions. You feel bad about messing with the little fucker, but you really couldn't help it. He looked way too familiar for someone you had just seen for the first time. Plus, that flustered blush of his was just too adorable not to stare at. Isn't there a law or something that says high-school boys aren't allowed to look that motherfucking innocent and cute? You chuckle to yourself and your best motherfucking friend gives you this sideways glance that says "Stop laughing you fucking nook-sucker, there isn't anything fucking funny in this fucking shit-hole of a world."

Yep, that sounds like something he'd say.

But, the reason why you are confused is because that kid is so motherfucking familiar.

You are positive that you have never seen him before.

Oh well.

Your Sol-bro suddenly bolts upright, snorting slightly. You finally notice that he has been sleeping for quite a long time, even though he's been doing those weird little lispy snores for the past twenty-seven minutes. You look at him and chuckle; his glasses are askew and you can see part of his blue eye and another part of his red eye. You think that those things are pretty motherfucking awesome, if not a little bit intimidating. Your Kar-bro disagrees.

"JEGUS FUCK, CAPTOR, FIX YOUR GOG-DAMN GLASSES. NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR FUCKING CRAZY-ASS FREAK-OF-NATURE EYES."

Sol-bro gives the short crabby dude a devious smile. "Oh, are you thure about that, KK?"

Karkat leans back, shielding his eyes slightly so he couldn't see your Sol-bro's eyes. "YES I AM 'THURE' ABOUT THAT YOU NOOK-SUCKER NOW GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME."

Sollux leans across the table, placing his glasses in front of you. "Oh, you know, I kinda doubt that, KK. I mean, you thure do thtare into my eyeth a lot when you think I'm not looking," he leans in closer, his eyes all kinds of big. "Why wouldn't you want a front-row theat?"

"FUCK CAPTOR IF YOU DON'T GET YOU AND YOUR FUCKING MUTANT EYES OUT OF MY FACE I WILL PERSONALLY COME TO YOUR HOUSE, CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING, AND SHOVE MY SICKLE UP YOUR PALE JAPANESE ASS." Karkat pushes the other boy away violently as both him and you are trying your hardest not to laugh.

"Wow, KK, that thoundth pretty thecthual if you athk me. Are you thure you aren't in love with me?" He wipes the tears from his eyes and you notice he's shakin' like a leaf in a tornado with all that pent-up laughter.

"FUCK NO." His face is starting to turn red. From anger or from embarrassment, you are not sure.

"No you aren't thure you aren't in love with me?"

"NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, ASSHOLE!" The grumpy bro leans over the table slightly, flipping the both of you a rude gesture. Sollux for obvious reasons, and you most likely from all the laughing you've been doing about his situation. You're used to it by now; you don't really care. You start to fiddle with Sol-bro's glasses.

"Oh, no, I underthtand; you're in love with that Terezi girl, aren't you?" He smirks, knowing he's hit a soft topic.

"I AM NOT FUCKING IN LOVE WITH HER! WE DATED ONCE, IT DIDN'T WORK OUT, END OF STORY."

"Wow, bros, everything looks motherfucking magical an' shit." You look around in wonder as everything turns some shade of blue or red, making everything look like it was meant to be in some old 3-D film at the local IMAX theater or something. It looks motherfucking miraculous.

Karkat just kind of glances at you, more like a life-weary mother than the usual angry face. "… Wow, Gamzee. Those glasses make you look even more fucking ridiculous than you do already. Congratulations; you've achieved the fucking impossible." Sollux laughs good-naturedly.

"GZ, you're gonna get fathe paint all over my glatheth…" You give him that dopey smile of yours and hand him the glasses with a honk, blinking a few times to adjust your eyes. He wipes them on his shirt before he puts them on, just in case.

"Karkat Vantas!"

"Fucking finally…" Karkat mutters, although muttering for Karkat was always like a normal speaking voice for any other person. You high-five your lispy-bro as soon as he walks away.

Your happiness is somewhat short-lived, although you don't really completely lose the happy. Most of the time you don't. Why is this? Because ERIDAN AMPORA has just swung into Karkat's seat as soon as the little dude hopped up.

"Hey, Gam, Sol." He gives you both that "Oh-I'm-so-cool-look-at-my-girly-jewelry-and-gay-ass-cape" grin, baring sharp and perfectly manicured teeth; you know, if teeth CAN be manicured. You can see your Sol-bro's eyes narrow dangerously, even behind those weird as fuck but still pretty wicked glasses.

"What do you want, ED?"

"Oh, nothin' just wwonderin' wwhy someone wwho's ALMOST as rich as me (but not quite) wwould be hangin' out wwith you losers." He was obviously referring to you, although you had no clue why. Since when did he involve himself in your personal life?

"Well, obviouthly, he'th trying to thtay away from collothal douthe-bagth like you." His eyes narrow even more, clenching his fists. Man, he hates that little motherfucker. "You aren't making that particularly eathy, though, tho why don't you make yourthelf thcarthe."

"Wwoah, wwoah, wwoah! Calm dowwn, Sol. WWouldn't wwant to get in a fight or somefin'. You couldn't afford to get kicked out. Doesn't your faggot brother havve to wwork twwo jobs to help pay for the tuition?" He leans on his heavily ringed right hand, a shit-eating grin almost obscuring his thick and unnecessary hipster glasses.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY BROTHER, YOU ATHHOLE." He leans across the table, grabbing a fist-full of Ampora's shirt.

Eridan slaps his hand away. "Wwoah, Sol, wwhat did-"

"OH MY FUCKING GOG AMPORA IF YOU DO NOT GET UP IN THE NEXT SIXTY SECONDS I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE MYSELF RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING EVERY FUCKING NIGHTMARE YOU HAVE ABOUT LOSING YOUR FUCKING EYELINER OR WHATEVER SHIT YOU HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT COME TRUE, GOG-FUCKING-DAMMIT."

And there goes Karkat.

"Oh, hey Kar. I wwas just-"

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE 'WWHAT' YOU WERE 'JUST' DOING AMPORA ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT YOUR FUCKING ASS IS PARKED IN MY SEAT AND YOU NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT FUCKING NOW BEFORE THE SCENT OF ASS PERMANENTLY PERMEATES THE AIR AROUND THIS ALREADY REPULSIVE-SMELLING TABLE."

"Alright, Kar. Just remember wwhat I said, Gam. You are fuckin' wweird, but you could probably make better friends than these freaks." He stands and fixes the purple streak in his black hair, despite the fact that it wasn't really messed up.

"Motherfucker, I ain't getting any kinds of worry on about what people think about me, and these wicked brothers are my bros. I ain't gonna up and leave 'em because you motherfuckin' said so."

He sneered back at you, flipping his cape pompously. "Wwhatever, freak." He swishes around dramatically, his obnoxious cape that looked like it came straight out of one of Karbro's old-timey romantic movies slapping said Karbro. With that, Eridan is seen off with a rather intense hand gesture from Karkat.

"Fucking dammit, I fucking hate that ass-licker…" Karkat flops down on the stool and rubs his temples, obviously tired from that particular outburst. Hey, severe bursts of angry could tire a dude out!

"KK, I think for onthe we can actually agree on thomething." Sollux rests his head on his arms, glowering at nothing in particular. You decide that all these bad feels are up and ruining the good mood you're in, so you tune out your best motherfucking friend and your other bitchtits friend and their grumbling, opting instead to think about that sick little wheelchair-bro, despairing that you weren't paying attention when the principal called of the little dude's name. You're pretty sure his last name starts with a N, though.

At least that's something.

**Gamzee: be the colossal douche-bag.**

Psh, wwhatever.

Like I havve to fuckin' listen to you, anywway.

I do wwhat I wwant.

…

Okay, I'vve decided I wwant to be ERIDAN AMPORA.

Good choice.

You are now Eridan Ampora.

After your big exit from the ultimate freak table, you stomp your way back to yours and Feferi's table. That's right, you're sitting with Feferi, not that freak with the weird eyes. Yes, at one very low point in your life you tried to become friends with him, with the whole lot of them, but you soon realized that they weren't worth it (though it might pay to get that Makara kid on your side. You hear that he's killed some people, and you never know if you'll need that sort of resource) Sollux and Feferi's short stint of dating just kinda went along with it. It totally wasn't the only reason.

TOOOOTALLY not.

You sit down next to said Feferi in a huff, smoothing out your silk hipster pants. She looks up at you and laughs, making your rather prominent frown deepen. "Oh, what's wrong Mr. Grumpy Gills?" She waits a moment before piping up again in that adorably excited voice. "Oh, can't tell me, huh? Whassamatter, catfish got your tongue? I know somefin must be wrong! You're more puffed out than a puffer-fish!" She grins at herself, obviously happy with the amount of fish puns she managed to fit into her one-sided conversation.

"Nofin, Fef. Just some problems wwith the freak brigade ovver there…" Ugh, now she's got you doing the silly fish puns. You point a bejeweled finger at the table Gam, Sol, and Kar are sitting at.

She pouts, her full lower lip jutting out almost impossibly. "Oh, c'mon, they aren't bad atoll!" She nearly broke her upset rouse to smile at her little atoll pun. You have to admit, though; it was pretty good. "You are just going about making fronds with them in the completely wrong wave!" You cringe, that one wasn't all that great… "If you put up an effort to get to know them, you'll find that they are cool as sea cucumbers!" She adjusts her little tiara and smiles at herself; she seems to be on a pun roll. That always makes her pretty happy.

She pulls out her obviously expensive cell-phone, but instead of checking her Pesterchum as she normally would, she goes straight to a virtual aquarium app. You roll your eyes. Doesn't she have enough of that at home? You have no idea how she manages to keep up with all those aquariums, virtual or otherwise, while still maintaining a personal life, grades, and keeping that freaky thing she calls a pet (what's it's name? Cthulu? No, something weirder… Oh yeah, Gl'bgolyb.) sedated and happy. That thing is the reason why you mainly stick with seahorses or sea-dragons for your aquariums. Much more peaceful, and a hell of a lot less high-maintenance.

You sit and brood over what just happened at the freak table, glaring at them unintentionally. You catch small snippets of their conversation.

"JEGUS FUCKING DAMN GAMZEE, HOW IN THE SWEET NAME OF 'THE HOLIDAY' CAN YOU WEAR THAT FUCKING THICK-ASS HOODIE EVERYWHERE, IT'S 300 FUCKING DEGREES IN HERE. YOU COULD BOIL A CHICKEN WITH COLD WATER IF YOU PUT IT OUT ON THE SIDEWALK."

"Bitchtits imagery, broseph. I guess the motherfucking reason I can wear this miracle of stitching is the same reason you could wear that black sweater of yours when we went to the movies on the hottest day of the year this summer."

"FUCK YOU, IT CAN BE COLD IN THERE."

Pft, what stupid… stupid-heads. Yeah. Stupid-heads.

Shut up Eridan just isn't as creative as Kar is at making vulgar nicknames get off his back.

**Eridan: be REALLY EXCITED 38D GLUBGLUBGLUB**

Okay, okay, geez Feferi.

We get it; you are a very excited little Feferi Piexes.

There are so many new classmates! There's even a few that you already know, which is possibly even cooler because you can show them around and talk to them about the ins-and-outs of Andrew Hussie Memorial High School and show them some of your friends that they haven't met and you can see them every day and GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB-

…

Okay, you're calm now.

It's so haaaaaaard to stay calm, though, because there's just so many cool things that can happen now that your fronds- _friends_, rather- are all at one school together! Let's see, there's Terezi, Nepeta, Equius, and… OH! Tavros, of course! And a few more, but you don't really take the time to remember. You MUST give ALL of your attention to your virtual aquarium. Your little cuttlefish just NEED to be culled! …Your version of the word, anyway.

Before you can do so, though, your phone beeps, signaling a text.

It's your mom.

She says that your "stupid excuse for a pet" is acting up again and it's beginning to get on her nerves.

You tell her to feed it one of the bait fish and it will be fine, before angrily exiting out of your chat session. You love your pet, but it's a real pain trying to keep it sedated, and an even bigger pain when your mother feels the need to tell you every ten minutes that it's acting up without you there.

You look over at Eridan. That silly hipster is still brooding about those other boys, silly boy! He really needs to stop that, at the rate he scowls per day he's going to get facial wrinkles by the time he's in college!

**Feferi: become the derp**

Hey, that's rude!

… Well, it's true, but it still stings!

Anyway, this is not a moment to be dwelling on what command-thingies are calling you, it is a time to rejoice. Why? Because you're out of that hell-hole you used to call a school!

… Y'know, even though you're now stuck in this new hell-hole you call a school.

But hey, even that has a silver lining! Half of the kids from your school went to the other school nearby, three of those including your three biggest assailants! Plus, your sister, your best friend, your best friend's sister (also a close friend of yours), and a bunch of other friends stayed along for the ride! EVEN BETTER, EVEN, is that is that your bestest best friend in the whole wide world and any other world that may be out there, Dave, wasn't in ANY of your classes last year and only one the year before, and this year you've found out he's in the same homeroom, three of the same core classes, and the same art class! THIS IS SO EXCITING! You don't even have home ec., which is notorious for it's constant use of the products of a certain evil batter-witch.

Speaking of your super awesome cool ironic yadda yadda best friend, right now you're pretty sure that he's playing with a turntables app on his phone, because his earphones are on and he's completely ignoring whatever Jade and Rose were talking about, but he's kinda known to just randomly put on his earphones and tune everyone out so you can never really trust your assumptions on that sort of matter. You can, however, lean over and check his phone to see if he is, but that pleading look he sends you when you start to lean over makes you rethink your decision, because he obviously doesn't want the girls to figure out that he's just ignoring them. At least, you think it's a pleading look. He's still wearing those sunglasses that you gave him when you had never really met him on his thirteenth birthday (which you affectionately take as a testament to both your friendship and your gift-giving abilities) so he's a bit hard to read, but ever since he moved up from Texas he's been wearing the things, so you've gotten used to deciphering his emotions behind thick black lenses.

What are Jade and Rose talking about, anyway? You assume that Rose would be holding up an entire one-sided conversation about her weird obsession with psychology and therapy and whatnot, while Jade would be talking about dogs. All dogs. Especially HER evil demon devil dog. Bec this, Bec that, BecBecBecBecBec~

Ugh.

That evil dog almost ate your beloved Casey last summer. You will never forgive that EVIL MONSTROUS DEVILISH EXCUSE FOR A DOG.

However, to your surprise, Jade and Rose are actually locked in an actual conversation that actually had actual contributions from the two that were actually talking.

_ACTUALLY. _

Turns out, Rose and Jade are actually (Wow, you say actually a lot) bonding over what you assume is Rose's love for cryptids and Jade's general love of animals. Maybe there's a dog-creature called Plusdulu or something. You think they both would enjoy that. You wouldn't understand.

You'll stick to the ectoplasm ghosts and Stay-Puft monsters, thank you.

Speaking of Pesterchum, someone seems to be pestering you.

You get out your PDA, the one that Dave constantly mocks you for still having (he says that the old irony of using it has worn off and now it's just sad. Rude!), and check your Pesterchum. Dave is pestering you!

**turntechGodhead [TG] **began pestering **ectoBiologist [EB]**

**TG: **hey

**TG: **egbert

**TG: **i am right fucking next to you

**TG: **i can fucking hear that stupid pda of yours going batshit crazy over there

**TG: **egbert i know youre busy fantasizing about married life with the awesome strider but you should really snap out of it

**TG: **why would my bride ever have to fantasize about that

**TG: **that could happen later

**TG: **right now you should just reply

**TG: **i can see you reading this

**TG: **stop fucking reading this

**TG: **just reply already

**TG: **a delicate lady such as you shouldnt read so much

**TG: **especially not this profanity

**TG: **i did learn to be courteous to ladies such as you in the south

**TG: **they fucking beat morals into you there

**TG: **i do use said morals occasionally

**TG: **fucking reply already damn it

**EB: **wow! that's a lot to read, Dave!

**TG: **fucking finally

**TG: **thought drastic measures would be needed to get you to fucking reply

**EB: **drastic measures? :O

**EB: **such as actually talking to me face to face?

**TG: **yes

**TG: **wouldnt want to have to resort to that

**TG: **those fucking beaver teeth would completely throw me off

**TG: **i mean damn

**TG: **im going to have to put a bag over your head when we consummate our marriage or something

Again with the marriage comment. You might take offence with the fact that he has constantly stated that you were the woman in the relationship (even though he most often says that he himself was the bride) if it all wasn't so darn funny. BUT DAMN IT YOUR TEETH ARE _NOT _THAT BAD!

**EB: **haha

**EB: **oh please go on

**EB: **your blinding wit is simply killing me

**EB: **now please stop

**EB: **you wouldn't want a dead bride, now, would you?

**TG: **no

**TG: **guess not

**TG: **ill stop being absolutely amazing and hilarious

**TG: **not sure if thats possible

**TG: **but ill try

**TG: **for your sake

**EB: **alright, i suppose i'll be safe, then.

**EB: **what's so important you can't talk about it in front of the girls?

**TG: **what

**TG: **a man cant want to speak with his future wife in privacy for no apparent reason

**EB: **haha, yes, we're getting married. You slay me.

**TG: **nothing important egbert

**TG: **just got tired of womanly monster chat

**TG: **no offense babe

**EB: **okay, then, what would you like to talk about?

**TG: **dont know

**TG: **maybe the fact that im in a fucking art class

**TG: **why would i even need that

**TG: **im at the fucking top of my game here bro

**TG: **why would they want to try to improve on ironic perfection

**EB: **i don't know, dave, maybe they would just like to display your talents?

**TG: **"display" my talents

**TG: **i dont think i enjoy that wording

**TG: **makes me feel like some sort of window display or some shit

**TG: **as a strider i am of course used to the awed stares

**TG: **but thats different

**TG: **i know these people

**TG: **id like to be able to go around school without being hounded by people harassing me for autographs

**TG: **i mean fuck even internet celebrities like me need their space

**TG: **id feel like one of those dogs in the fancy dog shows jade makes us watch

**TG: **paraded around and shit

**TG: **dont want to overexpose myself

**EB: **of course not!

**EB: **wouldn't want that gigantic ego of yours to get any bigger, the shades might not fit!

**TG: **…

**TG: **you know sometimes i wonder why were friends

**TG: **then i realize that its because if i left you alone youd end up in a dumpster somewhere

**TG: **so naturally i stick with you to indulge my motherly instincts

**TG: **if i didnt youd be dead by now

**TG: **just call me mother strider

Okay, you have to laugh at that one. Oh great, now you can't get the image of Dave in an old eighties dress and cooking apron out of your mind! Then again, you aren't sure you want that image to go away. It's excellent laugh material.

**EB: **i thought you were my fiancé, not my mother!

**TG: **who says i can't be both

**TG: **sure it would be one fucked up relationship

**TG: **but we could make it work

You giggle to yourself as the name-prattling of the principal starts to slow. Eventually, the principal reaches the last name on the sheet: Equius Zahhak. Urgh, it's that creepy "STRONG" guy that's always hanging around Nepeta. Apparently, according to her, he's actually younger than the small cat-girl. You don't believe it one bit.

"WELL, STUDENTS! This concludes your high-school orientation! Let's make sure to show around each of the new students here and make them as comfortable as possible! Let's make this school year as good as the last!"

Funny, you heard that the last year here wasn't all that good. But, it was apparently leaps and bounds above the year before. You wonder what happened.

You don't have much time to think about it, though, because a firm hand has latched around your wrist and it immediately pulls you from your seat. You lunge to catch your PDA, but Terezi has already caught it. How the hell can a blind girl do that? You expect her to tease you with it or steal it, but she must bee in one of those compassionate moods of hers so she simply hands it to you. You start to thank her, but you are being pulled away by a determined Strider. Resistance is futile. "C'mon, Egbert, we are getting the fuck out of here NOW. Hurry up, girlies."

"BYE, _COOL-KID _AND GREEN APPLE BOY," Terezi calls after you. Geez, that voice of hers kinda sounds like she's been eating chalk or something. It's unpleasant. Anyway, doesn't she usually say you smell, er, _taste _like blueberries? Must be your green jacket. Yeah, that's probably it. Why exactly are you rambling?

…..

You don't really know.

Dave is still pulling you along, and you notice his narrowed eyes through his glasses on his otherwise emotionless face. You suppose that he thinks no one can really see his eyes, so he can show emotion there. Truth be told, he's right. In most cases. Terezi can just tell, and she doesn't even need to see his face.

And then there's you.

You can see right through those glasses and the blank façade, right to how he really feels. You can read him like the back of the case for a Nicolas Cage movie. Why? Because you are bros. The best of bros. The bestest bros that ever did bro. Yet, he still thinks that he can fool you.

Silly Dave.

He pulls you up to a candy-red convertible, the one that his "Bro" Dirk Strider got him for his sixteenth birthday that you don't have any idea how he can afford on a DJ's sparse "salary". And you put quotation marks around the word salary because the gaining of objects of monetary value relies on whether or not Dirk is hired to play at a gig or not.

Anyway, ASIDE from all that ranting, (really, what is up with all the rambling you've been doing today?) the girls catch up to Dave's long stride (Haha, oh wow, stride, Strider…) and pile into the back of the car. You finally give into Dave's shoving and get into the passenger side. You'll have to remind him that shoving like that is TOTALLY uncool.

"Wow, Dave! This car is REEEEAAALLLYYYY cool!" Jade leans over from the back seat, plopping her head beside your's over the seat.

"Yeah, I know it is. It's like the fucking granddaddy of all cool cars, the only car worthy to be owned by the Strider. But don't get all used to this first-class southern hospitality, I'm not driving all your sorry asses to school every day. Especially not your lame ass, Egbert."

You laugh, mostly because you know that Dave will more than likely be driving you to school on Monday.

**John: Wear the headband; BE the ROSE**

Right now you are in the back of your overbearing, repressed, and delusional brother's car, next to your hyperactive and (apparently unknown) narcoleptic "friend", and diagonal to the equally delusional and somewhat "derpy" "best bro" of your brother's.

_Yaaaaay. _

Now, you DO of course consider the both of them to be your friends, but at times you would rather not be associated with _those people. _

Now is one of those times.

Currently, Jade is keeping herself busy singing what is apparently one of the newer hits of the year at the top of her lungs. You wouldn't know how recent or popular it is, however. You tend to stick with the classical genre. On the topic of Jade, she may be rather talented at her instrument of choice, but she should really stay away from singing. Apparently, Dave and John agree, as a rare grimace has appeared on Dave's normally stoic face and John is outright covering his ears.

It probably doesn't help that Jade is singing directly into his ear.

Though the self-proclaimed pranking master doesn't look very sane at the moment himself, almost as if he was having another confectionary freak-out with his loud mutterings and covered ears.

Truth be told, you would much rather be going straight home, rather than visiting the rather mixed-up house of Egbert-Harley. Your brother's and your living arrangements are much more simple. You were raised by your mother, Dave was raised as a brother by your father, your parent's don't particularly share any feelings toward each other, end of story.

Kind of.

But that is a tale for another day.

Unlike your rather unfeeling family, the Egbert-Harley residence holds some rather confusing history. An adoptive brother raising his brother and sister as his own, what are supposed to be grandparents are actually parents (deceased parents, at that), Jade being raised by a dead body for the better part of her years…

Even the most intelligent would have to wrack their minds if they were to try to understand the oddities that are the Egbert-Harley family.

You would rather stay away from that terrifying reality.

But alas, you are speeding along (at a surprisingly reasonable pace, by the way) towards their house, in a different direction from your's.

You would be less bothered by that if Dave wasn't more than likely to stay over in John's room to have an "ironic bro movie night", leaving you without a ride unless Dave decides to be courteous. Neither Jade nor John have their license, their "Dad" would most likely be kept busy baking.

And there's no way in hell you're calling your mother to pick you up.

Oh God, no.

There is no way you will make yourself responsible for the vehicular death of random pedestrians with your mother at the wheel.

Your phone dings loudly in your bag and you retrieve it, expecting a new pester.

Speak of the devil.

**tipsyGnolstalgic [TG] **began pestering **tentacleTherapist [TT]**

**TG: **hye roes

TG: *rose

TT: Hello mother. Inebriated once again I see.

TG: hunyn doent worry abaot that

TG: *abot

TG: *aboot

TG: *fuck it

TG: *leaving it Canadian

TG: *aboot

TT: Mother, you know that that is just a stereotype. Not all Canadians say "aboot".

TG: whatevs soz r u an dahv goin to Jhons house

TG: * dave

TT: Yes.

TG: tel his dad sumfing fer mhe

TG: *me

The following text you will not be passing on to Mr. Egbert any time soon. You will never repeat it ever, actually.

NEVER.

Oh God it's there when you close your eyes.

Stop even thinking about that oh God.

Why mind why are you sabotaging yourself.

This is so weird.

Get it away.

The worst thing about pursuing the therapy and psychology field is the fact that you usually cannot perform therapy on yourself.

**Rose: END CHAPTER, prepare for the next involving your visit to the Egbert-Harley household and your insufferable brother.**

**Okay broskis, like I said, Dave and Jade and possibly the alphas will be in the next one. BRACE THYSELF. I figured I should go ahead and post this because it is rather overdue, hehe.**

**I heart Gamzee. I really do. I promise this won't be some stupid introductory thing forever and I will skip around a bit, developing these bros.**

**Eridan, oh Eridan… I do love you, somewhere deep, DEEP inside.**

**FEFERI! 38D GLUBGLUBGLUB**

**John, I love you as well, you gigantic derp.**

**I really tried to write correctly for Rose, I hope I accomplished this… :/**

**DAVE I LOVE YOU YOU HIPSTER COOL-KID**

**Ta-ta for now,**

**-Saharasiam**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **CAN WE GET TO THE FUCKING PLOT NOW _PLEASE? _(apparently not)

**POV: **Second ONCE MORE, finally with whoever the f*ck I feel like after Dave and Jade. AW YEAH I GET TO MAKE CHOICES! :D Waitaminute, I am horrible at making decisions… OH SH*T I GET TO MAKE CHOICES D:

**AN: **I love rambling far too much. It's because I have so much stuff in my head I need to get out and as I say it all I think of new things while I go but I say it at the end of things where it isn't really all that relevant to the most recent ramble snippet.

Also braces. I have them now.

I am having some major John/Dave feels right now.

So yeah I made the cakes colored after their God Tier outfits what of it.

Trollmegle/Trollplay is the best. I always roleplay Dave because nowadays it's only hipster to be mainstream. Also I play John if you play Dave first.

By the way if you know any amazing AU (preferably on tumblr) stories then tell me because recently I read Promstuck and it is AMAAAAZING.

WARNING: THERE'S GONNA BE SOME JOHN/DAVE ALL UP IN THIS CHAPTER.

**Acknowledgements: **OMG I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS. YOU ALL ROCK AND I WISH I COULD GIVE A BIG OL' HUG TO YOU ALL. Seriously, drop me a review and I just freak out. In a good way. *HEARTSHEARTSHEARTS*

**Rose: be Beyonce's back-up dancer**

Alright, Dave Strider it is, then.

You are now Dave strider, cool-kid extraordinaire and- WAIT WHAT DID THE COMMAND SAY

WHAT THE FUCK

You know you would rock the hell out of that sort of position

But really

The fuck

Anyway, after orientation, you decided to show off your fucking beautiful car and beautiful southern hospitality by offering your friends a ride back from school.

Big mistake.

Jade is currently screaming the fuck out of your ear, mentally scarring you with the horrible, pitchy notes from an equally horrible and pitchy pop song.

You know you shouldn't have given her and John control of the radio.

"Ooh, I LOVE this song! 'YOU THINK I'M PRETTY, WITHOUT ANY MAKE-UP ON, YOU THINK I'M FUNNY, WHEN I GET TH-'"

Then suddenly, silence from the Harley.

This is odd.

"Yo Lalonde, what's up back there?"

"She appears to have fallen asleep."

Thank God for narcolepsy.

You quickly pop one of your sweet synthesizer mixes in the CD slot. So cool.

Your bro (no, not the genetic relative, the one in the car) pushes Harley's head off the back of his seat, sighing in relief. "Geez, glad that's over."

"John, is your sister still not completely aware of the fact that she so obviously has narcolepsy?" Your annoying therapist of a sister asks from the backseat.

"Pretty much. She's a bit of a derp like that." He chuckles a bit, like he was glad that the derpy spotlight was off him for a second.

"Must run in the family, Egderp." Perfect come-back.

Oh shit he's doing the face.

That face that says payback.

Usually that face means nothing because he rarely goes through with payback.

But you aren't sure right now.

And he probably has a whole night to get back at you.

The most common manifestation of payback for him is stupid pranks, and you are in no mood for that type of shenanigans at the moment.

He shifts in his seat, stopping momentarily and looking at his shoe. "Ew, there's gum on my shoe…" He makes a face, almost poking at his shoe but ultimately deciding not to.

"Jesus Egbert get that off before it gets in my car."

"Okay! Geez. Do you have any napkins or something?"

"Should be some in the console." He shifts around a bit for better access, reaching into the container.

"Hey, what's this doing here…?"

"What's what doing the- OH SHIT" You swerve a bit as you realize Egbert has just pulled a smuppet of epic proportions out of your console. I mean, fuck, how did your Bro even manage to fit that monolith of plush rump and phallic proboscis into that tiny console he must have used like a shoe horn or some shit to shove it in there- Reign it in, Strider, you are the cool kid. Rambling is not cool. Swerving is not cool either; thank God no one was around at the time. On the road of course, not in the car. There were most definitely people in the car, those who have just witnessed your smuppet break-down. C'mon, dude, be chill.

Hell yeah you're chill.

You are having all of the chills right now.

All of them.

"Dave, it's okay, you really need to chill out-"

Oh. Well, apparently you aren't as outwardly chill as you thought.

"Egbert I swear to you I am so fucking chill right now. If you put a water bottle on my shoulder it would freeze instantly I'm so chill. If you licked my arm your tongue would freeze to it. Pregnant women going into labor could pay me to stay with them to put my hand on their foreheads to cool them down I'm so chill. I am _SO _chill-"

"Okay Dave your examples are getting really weird so I'm going to have to stop you right there."

"Fuck you Egbert my examples are glorious."

"Dave it's obvious you're freaking out right now so just tell me where to dispose of this and-"

"I want you to throw it out the fucking window."

"But Dave, that's littering!"

"I could keep the smuppet in my bag if you would like me to. We could dispose of it at John's house." Shit, you forgot Lalonde was in the car. She's probably gonna bug you about this with her psycho-shit later.

"Okay first of all Lalonde: no and fuck you. Second of all Egbert I don't give a damn about littering it will decompose later I just want you to THROW IT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW."

John finally takes your advice and THROWS IT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW.

"Are you chill now, Dave?" WHAT IN THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE "CHILLS" IN THIS?

"YES EGBERT I AM FUCKING CHILL."

He gives you this sideways glance like he really doesn't believe you, and really you cannot fucking blame him, but still he's your best bro and you really need him to at least go along with it because that's what bros do and you really need to stop this because run-on sentences are not even cool in an ironic sense.

"Oh, hey, when did the song go off?"

Enter the Harley, narcoleptic extraordinaire.

**Dave: DO A DANCE**

What?

**Dave: I SAID "DO A DANCE"**

Fuck no.

**Dave: DO A DANCE RIGHT THIS INSTANT.**

You resolve to save this for a time when it is especially ironic, but you refuse vehemently at this time.

**DAVE: Well if you aren't going to do a dance maybe the dog girl will do one**

We will never know because you, the DOG GIRL, are currently fast asleep. At least you were a few seconds ago. Whatever. The point is you will not be doing a dance at this time because your dream was quite troublesome. Also, that would be stupid.

Not that you would care about looking stupid.

Anyway, the dream.

Wait, what dream?

You can't really remember.

Not that you are really surprised. You constantly forget things, which is why your colorful reminders sit nicely on your fingers. Unfortunately, you do not have one on hand and therefore the memory is currently slipping away like sand in an hourglass, but instead of an hour's supply in the hourglass there was only enough sand to supply a few seconds. All you can really remember now is that it was not a good dream.

Okay, enough about that! For some reason the song you were listening to before you…

Wait…

What did you do before now that interrupted the song?

Oh well, doesn't matter now, because Dave has put in one of his "cool-kid beats" CDs that he said you'd never understand because you are just too tainted with dorky genes to comprehend the cool. No more pop songs for you.

Dave looks really flustered- at least, you think he does- and you wonder why for a second before looking towards Rose. She just kind of nods at you, so you guess she'll tell you later!

If you remember, that is.

About twenty minutes later you arrive at your house and Dave pulls into the drive next to John and your's bicycles, careful not to bump into them. You are actually surprised how responsible Dave is while driving, though you're pretty sure it's for his car's safety and not the safety of the passengers. Whatever.

There are four cakes sitting on the windowsill of the kitchen, all small enough to be considered personal.

"Hey Egderp, looks like your dad made us some cakes."

You look towards your brother; he has an angry scowl covering his face. "Ugh, I told him I don't want him to make any more…"

"I believe it is quite thoughtful of your father to attempt to treat you with confectionary foods."

"Yeah, well, it might have seemed thoughtful to me before he made me sixteen cakes in one day."

You jump out of the car and run up to the window with the cooling cakes, looking through to your father. He, at the moment, is furiously baking what you assume is numerous cakes. He sees you through the window and you think he smiles, but his pipe is obscuring your sight. He gestures to the cakes.

They each say something along the lines of "Congratulations on surviving the junior orientation of your newest private school that you were forced to join after your previous school was burnt down!" You really don't understand how he manages to fit so many words onto such a small cake, but you shrug it off. There is a green and black one, which you assume is for you, a blue and yellow one for John, a red and maroon one for Dave, and an orange and yellow one for Rose. You love when your dad color-coordinates this sort of thing.

"FUCK JADE GET YOUR DEMON DOG AWAY FROM MY CAR HE'S GOING TO SCRATCH THE PAINT."

Oops, there goes Bec. You run towards your dog, but before you can drag him away from the car, he turns his head towards you.

Oh shit.

You've been spotted.

**Jade: STRIFE**

Okay, you decide to s-JAFHJKALDFUCK THIS DOG.

Before you can even initiate a strife your "stupid evil demon devil dog" jumps on you. You are used to this and his rather sloppy affections but it's never enjoyable to have dog slobber running down your face.

**Jade: ABSCOND**

How can you abscond? There's a hundred-pound mass of brute strength slobbering all over your cheek.

**Jade: accept your fate**

Alright, that seems easy enough. Your arms go slack and you stop trying to push him away. He just kinda looks at you and pants, and you think to yourself hey look you fell asleep again.

**Jade: be one of the alpha characters**

You cannot do that, because the author has decided not to involve the alpha characters in the story plot as of yet. In the future, sure; but not now.

**Jade: flip the author off for denying my will**

You cannot do that, either, as you are asleep.

Haha.

Jerk.

**John: take over this POV **

Gladly.

You gratefully take over the POV, grumbling to yourself about the obscene amount of cakes your dad is undoubtedly making right now.

"Hey bro we should get our cake on." Dave coolly slides up to you after checking his car for scratches in the paint and deciding that his car is blemish-free. You frown up at him, even more disheartened that he's so much taller than you.

John is the short kid.

It is you.

"I told you, Dave, all he makes are those stupid Betty Crocker cakes! She's an evil batter witch!" You pout, your buck teeth sticking slightly out over your bottom lip.

"A batter witch that just so happens to make your favorite gummy treats."

"Shut up, Dave!"

"Bro they're just cakes. Delicious sugary confections that are made solely out of love and magic. If you reject the cakes you reject the love."

"Dave that is stupid." He starts to lean heavily on you, making your back bend a bit. "Dave what are you-"

"Don't reject my love John."

"You didn't even make the cakes they don't have any of your love in them." You start to push him off of you and he just leans harder; jeez he's so annoying sometimes! "Dave stop-"

"John if you reject my love I will die. Don't let me die John."

"Dave why are you doing this." He's leaning all of his weight into you and it's getting really hard to stand like this why is he doing this what-

"John accept my love it is the only way." He throws his arms around your neck and your face gets hot and this feels really homosexual why would he do something so homosexual usually he's not this touchy-feely wait yes he is so why are you getting so embarrassed now John this is stupid you are stupid why-

"DAVE THIS IS SILLY STOP IT."

"No John." He coughs dramatically onto your shoulder for the effect. "Just let me" cough "love you…" He gasps painfully as a convulsion wracks through his body. "No… wait… it is too late… you wouldn't let me love you… in time…" How the heck can he keep his poker-face through all this? You will never understand the Strider brothers and holy crap his mouth is right next to your ear why does he keep invading your personal space this is so awkward- "Tell Bro… he still… owes me twenty dollars for scratching my mix CD…" And with that, his face falls onto your shoulder and he convulses a final time. All of the weight he was apparently holding back is suddenly weighing down upon you. He is pretty skinny being a stick and all, but you are a small, TINY man! You push him in vain, sounding remarkably like Lilo in that one scene with her sister in that one Disney movie that you refuse to admit that you have watched and enjoyed even though you did.

"DAAAAAAAAVE GET OFF OF MEEEEEEEE!"

"No. I am dead. Dead people cannot move."

"DAVE DEAD PEOPLE CANNOT TALK."

"I don't know what kind of dead people you hang out with but all the dead people I know are very talkative."

"Dave-"

"Maybe dead people just don't like you."

"Dave can you stop-"

"Don't worry man I'll get you in good with the dead community. They can't resist the Strider ways. If they see you hanging out with me eventually those derpy charms of yours might grow on them."

"Dave please-"

"I dunno, though, you watch that _Ghostbusters _crap. They could take offense to that."

You jump back a bit (the best you can with a certain Strider leaning against you), indignant. "What? Ghostbusters is _not _crap! You just say that because you aren't 'cooooooool' enough to understand its genius."

"Ouch, Johnny-boy. You wound me. Me, uncool? Impossible. I am too cool to appreciate that movie." Suddenly Dave kinda snuggles into the crook of your neck and you become very VERY aware about the fact that his breath is right on your neck and how homosexual this must look to everyone else.

"Um, Dave?"

"Shhhh, only sleep now."

"What? Are you falling asleep? We're like, in the middle of my yard, standing up."

"Yeah well Egbert, you are really comfortable and warm and you are just going to have to deal with that."

"Dave please get off of me this isn't cool."

"What would you know about cool. Besides, this is _ironic._"

"Dave, I'm beginning to wonder if you really know the definition of the word 'ironic'."

"Shh John only sleep now."

"Dave, get off of me _please." _He is breathing RIGHT ON YOUR NECK WHY IS HE DOING THIS THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE.

"Okay, but only since you asked nicely." He finally picks himself off of you and you let out that breath that you didn't know you were holding. That jerk is still as stoic-faced as ever. How can he do that and still be all cool and stuff while you're reduced to a blushing madman? Wait, not a "blushing" madman. DEEEEEEEEFINITELY not. Because blushing would mean that- nope. Not going to go there.

You choose to ignore that look that Rose gives you. Stupid Rose and her suspecting face.

"Yo dude should we help out Harley."

Oh, you didn't notice your sister on the ground there. Where did Bec go? God, you hope he went FAR away.

"I shall help with that, you boys just head on inside." Rose puts her hands on her hips and you aren't sure if she's being sarcastic or not, but she leans over and picks up Jade by her back and legs and you guess she's being serious.

You and Dave head in, Dave pausing first to balance all four small cakes on his arms. You shoot him a look and he shrugs, careful not to drop the cakes. You know he won't, though. He's too smooth for that.

He sets them on the coffee table in the living room, positioning them so each person could sit on the couch and eat. He pushes a few stuffed harlequins off of the end of the couch and sits down, patting the space beside him and in front of the blue and yellow confectionary monstrosity. You frown, but do as he says. Reclining back into the cushions, you huff and cross your arms over your chest. You'll sit beside him, but you will NOT be partaking in the eating of such sugary round death traps. Like the old saying says, "You can lead a horse to water, but you may come to own a donkey yourself."*

For some reason that doesn't sound right.

Actually that doesn't make any sense at all.

You guess you just got the quote wrong.

Oh well.

Rose bursts through the door, carrying a still very unconscious Jade, panting and wheezing. Wow, she really could have just dragged her in by her arms or something…

"Oh no, please, just continue sitting there as I attempt to carry a fully realized one hundred and fifteen pound woman. It's not as if I have rather weak muscle mass or anything like that."

You think that this statement would sound really sarcastic from anyone else, but Rose is so monotone when she says it you just believe her.

Guess she's stronger than she looks, huh!

**Rose: curse humanity**

Those idiotic boys think you are serious. Holy crap. You didn't think they could be so asinine.

Yes. Of _course _you have no problem carrying someone around the same weight and somewhat taller than you.

_No. Problem. At. all. _

**John: continue being clueless**

Well that's not very hard for you now is it.

Rose slowly makes her way to the couch, struggling the entire time, and finally manages to sit Jade down in the spot at the end of the couch. She takes a moment to catch her breath and sits beside you with a huff, positioning Jade so she was leaning against the armrest. She sends a glare your way, but really, it was her fault for telling you and Dave that she was fine with carrying Jade on her own.

"Shit, forgot the forks." Dave looks down at the coffee table and makes towards the kitchen.

You would get them yourself, but you are hell-bent on staying away from the kitchen when your father is in one of his "moods".

"Oh, hey, cake!"

Nice to know that Jade still enjoys the cakes. _Lovely._

**Karkat: take over the POV so we don't have to encounter the confectionary carnage**

You are once again Karkat Vantas, ninety-nine pounds of pure unadulterated rage.

**Author: Continue Karkat's POV in the next chapter because you are going somewhere tomorrow and you really want to update before then.**

Oh hay guis. Here have a chapter. It's shorter than the first and last ones, but it's longer than the second! I'm heading off tomorrow on a little vacation, we're gonna go see ZOOS. Let me reiterate, ZOOOOOS. Also an aquarium. Heck yeah.

I'm not sure if I like Dave's chapter… I'm pretty sure I don't like Jade's. SORRY GUIS.

I love you John, you little derp. :B

Sorry Rose!

I think I will make a rule that I write at least a bit of a Karkat POV in each chapter from now on. I'm sorry for the wait, but summers are so busy for me… I'll try to update more quickly next time!

Ta-ta for now,

Saharasiam.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **WHAT IS THIS FUCKING AUTHOR EVEN DOING ANYMORE IS SHE FUCKING DENSE OH MY GOD

**POV: **Per usual it is in second

**AN: **I am so fucking sorry about the wait guys. Seriously.I just realized how many times I put the word "Egderp" in chapter three. Why past Sahara why omg that's like death whyaajlgajghjag. So I fixed it. I think that chapter is sufficiently less obnoxious. I also fixed the abundance of fandom Tavros in chapter two. Sorry these updates have been coming by a bit slowly but my drive to write has decided to be a douche and randomly plummet to the deepest ring of nope. And I just found out my best friend likes SolKat too. Hurhur.

**Acknowledgements: **I love you guis omg. Your reviews and follows and favorites make my kokoro go doki doki

you fucks better be glad I didn't make Homestuck.

You think Hussie's pauses are bad.

I'd be like "oh hey here take an update btw not gonna update for a month or two lol bai"

Also, thanks applesAnonymous! I didn't notice I did that… ._. Haha, but I'm glad you like the story!

**Karkat: OKAY NOW YOU CAN SPEAK**

Jesus, thank you oh GREAT AND FUCKING WONDERFUL COMMANDER.

You are currently lounging against the end of Sollux Captor's bed, getting your ass royally handed to you at a game of Mario Kart while Gamzee looks on. He's been cheering you on ever since you started the game, but at random times he'll switch over to cheer on Sollux, and you decide that he is a really shitty cheerleader. Oh well, it's not like his voice blaring in your ear and the honking of that stupid clown horn that you have no idea where he's been hiding has been helping you; especially not with concentration.

FUCK. Sollux just got a mushroom the ONE-FUCKING-HUNDREDTH time in a row AND he just shot a fucking red Koopa shell at you. Apparently it is not enough to that asshole that you are a complete lap behind him (shit, he just passed you, now you're two laps behind), but he JUST HAS to make this the most painful gaming experience that you've ever gone through.

Oh well, at least it isn't as embarrassing as losing to that clueless idiot Gamzee. That's why you never play against him when anyone else is around. Last time you made that mistake Sol-ass wouldn't stop riding you about it. The truth is that asshole is really good at that type of game, even though you're pretty sure he has no idea what he's doing.

The dreaded final lap is finally finished, and you come in DEAD last.

Not that you weren't expecting that.

"Heh, beat you again, KK."

"LIKE I FUCKING CARE. IT'S A FUCKING VIDEO GAME FOR GOD'S SAKE." You throw down the controller.

"Yeah, I can tell that you don't care in the leatht bit."

That lispy fucker has the GALL to chuckle at that.

Fucking CHUCKLE.

Before you can go off on him, though, Gamzee leans over and takes the controller that you threw in front of you.

"Shit man, let me try this motherfucker out." He's leaning halfway on your shoulder and you really hate it when people invade your personal space, so you grumble a few more obscenities before climbing on Captor's bed to let the idiot scoot in front of the screen. About three more games later, you decide that the world just doesn't fucking make sense. Twice Gamzee got second, and once he got first. _AGAINST SOLLUX FUCKING CAPTOR. _

Seriously he's just dicking around on that fucking controller how the fuck is he doing so well.

Half-way through the fourth game (and twelve Faygos chugged by Gamzee) you hear the sound of a really squeaky door opening, presumably the front door. Sollux pauses his game.

"Who the motherfuck would that be?" Gamzee leans against the bed, crossing his gangly legs in front of him.

"It'th pretty late, dad'th probably already athleep. 'Th motht likely Pol." You shift around uncomfortably as you hear a second voice, and Sollux frowns a bit. "Thoundth like he brought Cathtor…"

You know that Sollux and his brother's boyfriend aren't exactly on the best fucking terms, so you're really hoping this night doesn't end in confrontation. "Why the fuck would he do that? Doesn't he know you have company over?"

Sollux looks down, his eyes really dark. Fuck, he looks mad. "Gueth he jutht forgot… Whatever. Let'th jutht get back to the game." Gamzee frowns, leaning forward a bit and picking up his controller. That clueless asshole must have realized that Sollux was obviously in no mood to talk, because he looked like he was about to say something but seemed to think better of it.

They finish that round, Gamzee pulling into first as soon as they were in sight of the finish line. You bet it's because Captor is really distracted. After offering you the controller, to which you vehemently refuse ("LIKE FUCK I'LL PLAY AGAINST YOU LUCKY ASSHOLES." "'Luck' doethn't have anything to do with it, KK." "IT DOES FOR THE ASS-CLOWN, HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HE'S DOING." "I can't really deny that, best motherfucking friend."), Sollux starts another round on a previously locked track. Gamzee is pulling ahead when Sollux pauses again.

"What's wrong motherf-"

"Shhh, lithten…"

You raise your head up and "lithten", a little bit thankful for the distraction because you are really tired of watching those two assholes drive random videogame characters around the same track for several laps. At first you don't hear anything and, judging by his expression, Sollux doesn't hear anything anymore.

Then you all hear it.

You know that you all hear it because you all take on a similar blank face.

You'd rather not elaborate on the noises you hear.

Sollux cringes while you shift around uncomfortably. "Oh fuck no. I'm tho thorry guyth. Fucking Cathtor…" You notice he doesn't say anything about his brother. "You don't have to thtay here…"

"If we get to heading on out you're gonna have to get your out on with us. I ain't gonna leave a bro." You roll your eyes at your begrudged friend and his rather odd choice of words and syntax. You only speak with the fucking best grammar, and you aren't really sure how you stand to put up with this idiot.

"Well where the fuck would we go? It'th like, one in the morning."

"We are NOT going to my house. Our house looks like shit and I don't want to run into 'Crabdad'."

"Everything is alright, motherfuckers, we can all crash at casa de Makara. The old goat's probably out again tonight."

"Ath long ath we're anywhere but here." The game is saved and stowed away, leaving the three of you to abscond the fuck out of there as the UNMENTIONABLE NOISES FROM THE NEXT ROOM OVER slowly get louder. Sollux doesn't even bother to grab any clothes.

You all pile into Gamzee's clunky and damn near defunct God-awful purple truck. There's no back seat, so you sit in the middle, practically curling into yourself to keep from touching the other two occupants. Half-way to Gamzee's house, your phone rings. Sollux looks at you when he hears your choice of ring-tone.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DOUCHE-NUGGET HANNAH MONTANA IS A COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE RINGTONE."

He just shrugs and mutters something. You really don't care what he said. Hannah Montana is the best.

You look at the caller-ID and sigh.

"What the fuck do you want."

"Kaaaar, c'mon, don't answwer your phone like that, it's rude."

"Like I care. I know it's you and I really don't feel like using any fucking manners towards you."

"I'm hurt, Kar."

You roll your eyes, sighing again, but this time more like a tired mother. You know you said you hate him, but really, he and you are pretty good friends. In a way. You don't really know how to explain it. Your relationship mainly consists of him asking advice or insulting you, and you insulting him right back and giving him said advice. You guess that counts as friendship. You still kinda hate him a bit.

"Seriously, Ampora, what the fuck do you want."

"Wwell, earlier, I tried ta… Call Fef…"

"So?"

"I wwas… a little bit drunk at the time… still am, actually…"

"YOU WERE NOT." Oh fuck, you knew that he sounded off. Must've gotten into his dad's wine cabinet again. Only the best intoxicants for the richest fucks you've ever had the misfortune to lay your optic devices on. This fuck is the epitome of how bad it is to be a teenage alcoholic, even though he doesn't really drink all that much.

"Wwell don't sound so surprised. You knoww that most of the time I… wwork up the nervve to talk ta her about… stuff… I'm sloshed."

You sigh, rubbing the bridge of your nose. You DO know that. You wish you didn't, but you do. You shove Sollux with your shoulder to get the ass-pirate to stop all his chuckling before replying to the somewhat inebriated nuisance. "Well, what did you say?"

"Uh, I _might _'a talked a little about howw she should go out wwith me next Friday…"

"Okay, that doesn't sound too bad."

"But, then I… uh, I kinda…"

"How did you fuck it up this time."

"Wwell, I said somethin' against her choice in men…"

"Ampora, I swear, if you mentioned Captor-" Sollux's smile slipped away, turning into an expression of apprehensive interest.

"I… may havve said a feww thing's 'bout howw loww-class he is compared ta her…"

"You fucking idiot."

"Kar you knoww howw I am wwhen I get like that! I don't knoww wwhat I'm doin."

"No, I have a theory that you know EXACTLY what the fuck you're saying when you're drunk; you just say shit like that to get me as pissed as a mother bear just waking up from hibernation and finding out that her shit-hole cubs shaved her face and drew phalluses all over her skin in permanent marker."

"Kar I don't think that's a thing bears do."

"Do you really think I give a shit about what bears do when they aren't mauling people and fucking up our trash cans?"

"I guess not."

"You guessed correctly, shitstain."

"Kar in all seriousness wwhat am I supposed ta do here?"

"I don't know, man. You majorly fucked up. You know… _he's _still a soft spot with her." You censor your speech because Sollux is glaring right at you trying to understand what's going on. You figure he has found out most of the pieces to the puzzle because he looks fairly pissed. "Listen, I think I'm going to have to stop talking soon so-"

"No wwait Kar I need advvice-"

"I don't think I can give any right now I'm busy-" That one wasn't a lie, you were busy pushing Captor away from you. He had been leaning in as close as he could to the phone and you really wish he would stop invading your personal space.

"But Kar I-"

"Seriously Ampora I have to go-"

"Wwell alright Kar but wwe are talkin about this tomorroww I am desperate."

You sigh, muscles strained trying to push away your larger friend. "Okay, I can deal with that, I guess. Stay away from your dad's intoxicants for the rest of the night."

"I wwill. Bye Kar."

"See you, Ampora."

You flick your shitty late-nineties-early-two-thousands age flip phone closed, tossing it into the bag at your feet. You lean back into your seat, head too preoccupied to realize that Sollux was still extremely close to you. Tomorrow was going to be one hell of a long day.

The car hits a bump in the road and the radio is somehow jarred into action, suddenly blaring head-splittingly loud rap music around the small area of the car.

"FUCK!" Sollux moves to cover his ears, accidentally smacking you in the face in the process.

"Shit guys I am all up and sorry about that…" You can barely hear him over that sheer cacophony. He fumbles around a bit before managing to turn it off, drowning the carriage in a somewhat uncomfortable silence.

You're beginning to think that this whole endeavor is a terrifically bad idea.

**Karkat: BECOME THE CRIPPLE AGAIN**

You lean back on the edge of your bed, blowing a lock of fluffy mohawk out of your eyes in concentration. You can't screw this up, you just cannot-

"Damn!"

You stick the tip of your finger into your mouth, frowning at the taste of blood. You aren't very good at this whole sewing shebang.

"Tavros, might I suggest you turn over the project to me? No offense on your part, but I do believe you are somewhat inept at the art of sewing."

"No thanks, Kanaya... I have to do this on my own!"

"Might I ask why?"

"... Just to prove to myself that I can? I'm sick of being... um, useless? I guess that's a word I can use. To, describe myself, I mean." Damn, you're getting flustered again; you don't need to get all frazzled, you're around friends! Or, at least people who have managed to put up with you for a while?

"TAVROS! You don't need to do that! You're already simply PURRFECT!" Your feline-enthusiast friend giggles, fluffing your hair. The blonde is always happy about something. Well, not really always, but most of the time.

"Nah, I wouldn't say pur- eh, perfect. Not by a long shot..."

"You're purrfectly you, and of that, I'm pawsitive!" She leans over to give you a (rather tight) hug around the shoulders.

"Heh, thanks, I guess." Heat rises in your cheeks and ears at the complements and you give her a lopsided smile. The sweet moment is ruined when you're sent into a sneezing fit due to your cat allergies.

"Oh, sorry Tav! I guess my clothes are still covered in cat hairs, heh." She attempts to brush a few off, but her efforts are ultimately futile. She frowns a bit, before apparently deciding to change the subject. "I wish I could FLARP with you guys! It'd be sooooo fun, but you know how I have to get Eq's purrmission... he's just so purrsnickety! Ugh." She slides down your foot rest and falls on her side with a dramatic "oof".

"It's fine, Nepeta... I mean, it'd be wonderful t-to have you there! But, uh, I can't really FLARP much now, anyway... Because of... yeah. You know." You blush a bit again, motioning towards your limp appendages.

She looks over at your legs before popping back up, eyes wide and apologetic. "Oh no! Look at me, being pawsitively insensitive! I mean, I purrobably still could without Equius' purrmission, but you can't really even do that anymore..."

"No, Nep, it's okay, really, heh." You hold your hands up before you, motioning towards her to make sure she knows you harbor no hard feelings.

"While it is quite heartwarming to see such displays of friendly affection, do you think we could get back to the task at hand?" Kanaya adds, interrupting your reassurances. (good thing too, you were doing a pretty shitty job at it.) She holds up your torn Peter Pan outfit, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, yeah, totally." You turn back, handing her the needle (you'll never be able to master that anyway) and sticking your (still bleeding) finger into your mouth.

She takes the sharp instrument, humming to herself for a moment before speaking up. "Oh, and Nepeta? We need to talk about fixing up your coat, or at least buying a new one, because that is simply atrocious."

Nepeta frowns at the other girl, sticking her tongue out at her when her gaze was averted and her attention elsewhere. "My coat is purrfectly fine, thank you furry much!" She leans back, before sitting up stick-straight once more. "Oh, and Tavros? We HAVE to talk about what had you in such a tizzy this morning, befur I have to leave! You aren't getting out of it!"

Ugh, couldn't she just drop it already?

**Tavros: FUCK SHIT UP**

Tavros, as you see, is otherwise occupied, and is in no place to fuck shit up. Choose another.

**Dave: FUCK SHIT UP**

You are once again TEREZI PYROPE, and you are having far too much fun with this.

"Do you hear anything?"

"Do you know how ironic it is that you asked a BLIND GIRL to be on LOOKOUT?"

"Shut up, douchebag, just tell me when you hear anything."

"Sure thing, bubble butt." You smile, revealing your devastatingly hot (or at least you assume it is. You've never gotten to see it yourself.) and dangerously sharp smile.

"You haven't seen my ass since middle school, bitch face."

"Doesn't mean it's not fat anymore."

You hear her heals clack across the pavement, before she stops. Suddenly, there's a loud FFWSSSH noise as air-compressed paint is sprayed across a brick wall. It smells cerulean. You lean on your menacing (delightfully tacky) dragon cane, trying to both get a better whiff and to be able to hear your surroundings in case of emergency (which, in this case, would be someone discovering your little vandal scheme).

Teal joins the cerulean, and you know she's almost done. Soon enough, heels clack their way over to your position. "I'm doooooooone."

"Couldn't you have worn more comfortable shoes? Those heels sound like calluses waiting to happen."

Air hits your face as she swings around her long mop of hair. "Pft, I'll have you know that I am perrrrrrrrfectly comfortable in the shoes I am wearing."

"Really? Because it sounds like your toes are crying. 'oh someone, please help me escape this stinky hell!'"

"My feet do NOT stink, you asswipe." She stomps a foot. Wow, you guys are immature.

"You're not the one with the advanced olfactory senses, love. To me it's like something left behind after a particularly messy petting zoo." You smile/smirk, waiting for her reaction.

She pauses before letting out a "Let's get out of here." You cackle, before holding out your cane in her path.

"One second. Hand me the red." You know she brought along a red just for you. She always does.

A spray-paint bottle is shoved into your abdomen and you take it up with glee. You turn to the nearest wall and do the best weighing scale you can from memory. Sashaying back towards the other girl, you give her a killer smile before tucking the can into your (again tacky) dragon graphic backpack before high-tailing it out of there. Good thing that alley wasn't visited much.

The two of you stop beside a Wendy's, leaning against the building and laughing at all the adrenaline built up from that little escapade.

"So, what'd you paint?"

"Cerulean Scorpio sign, teal Libra, and ' Scourge sisters'." You smile. The two of you always say there's a difference between teal, cerulean, and regular blue. Not a big one, but still significant.

"How was my bitching scale?"

"Most badass scale I've ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on."

The two of you laugh.

**Terezi: BE THE OTHER SCOURGE SISTER**

It didn't look much like a scale, but it was still pretty good.

You'd tell her it was good regardless.

You're not a complete bitch, alright?

**Author: END CHAPTER**

Again, sorry for the wait. Also, sorry it's so short. Enjoy. (I promise there'll be a plot soon)

-Saharasiam


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